Repetition and growth

Repetition and growth

While the old adage ‘practice makes perfect’ may make us cringe now we understand how toxic the desire for ‘perfection’ is. The concept of exploration and growth through repetition is worthy of our consideration and pursuit.

Why? Because regardless of what we are trying to acquire, ‘muscle memory’, resilience, capacity etc. we grow holistically, mind, body, soul, spirit, with intention, repetitive practices and time.

Discovering, learning and / or knowing what we need is the first step. A very important step, of course, yet only the first of the many steps required. Knowledge without action is wishful thinking, it doesn’t cause change to miraculously materialize. Intentionally choosing to take regular action is the key.

As a child I literally spent hours, (up to 3 or 4 a day in the latter years) at the piano practicing finger exercises and the various Baroque, Classical, Romantic and Modern pieces chosen for me, to build the skills and capacity required to pass the annual examinations with an A grade. It was my passion.

I’m not suggesting for a moment that each day at 7.00 am I was bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to jump on and start practicing. Or that again after a full day at school, I was always eager to practice for a few more hours. Yet I did do it (most days) because I wanted to. I was driven by an internal desire to be me, to play and to ‘breathe’.

Wow, that’s a revelation. Up until this very moment I had thought ‘breathing’ through playing had come many years later. How exquisitely our mind, body, soul and spirit knows what we need to survive.

We can so easily forget the good and only remember the bad. ‘Thin’ stories are narrow versions of our lives that focus in on the negative lows of our story and keep us blinded to the positive highs.

Narrative therapy uses the notion of ‘thin’ stories to explain our human propensity to get stuck in patterns of pain, loss or harm. Stories that automatically attract more of the same into our lives.

This propensity to get stuck in negative loops is widely thought to be caused by the residual effects of unprocessed trauma on our body’s autonomic nervous system.

The body’s innate ‘survival mechanism’, the ‘Poly Vagal Theory’s’(Stephen Porges) fight, flight, freeze, fawn response, is triggered by threats to our well-being and survival. These can be actual threats or perceived threats, our nervous system can’t tell the difference.

Threats of physical, mental, emotional or spiritual harm, bullying, abandonment, lack of nurture or inconsistency of care by primary care givers etc. trigger
neuro-chemical reactions that create change in our body before we even have a chance to think.

We may fight - lashing out in anger, take flight - run away, freeze - like a ‘deer in headlights’, dissociate (ie, when parts of us shut down) or fawn - people please or simply do whatever we need to do to survive, regardless of the negative impact it has on us.

The body stores information from past threats like computers store data. If past threats are not sorted through and cleaned out then they accumulate and our whole system, mind, body, soul, spirit is negatively impacted. Our nervous system becomes highly sensitized, hyper vigilant and functionally in overdrive. Often perceiving situations as threats when they are not.

Our bodies become charged with survival ‘chemicals’ (neurotransmitters) that pass the threat through neural pathways so the body can elicit the ‘necessary responses’.

When this happens repetitively, tangled neural bundle destined to attract more negative tangles, form. This is repetition working in our body’s negatively against us.

Each time this happens to us, it happens outside of our immediate conscious control. Most of these ‘Poly Vagal’ triggers start in the gut region of the nervous system and initiate in milliseconds long before our conscious mind has a chance to think a thought, let alone gather information and make an appropriate decision. If you have ever been told your ‘fight, flight, freeze or fawn is ‘your fault’ - IT IS NOT!!!

Let’s take a moment to stop, connect in with ourselves (you might like to close your eyes and focus on your breathing) and let that sink in.

( Nb If you start to yawn or have a need to move your body go with it. It is your body’s way of ‘down-regulating’ naturally).

Have you been told (or thought) you are weak or emotional? Have you been accused of wearing your heart on your sleeve or of being too sensitive? Have you felt fundamentally flawed or deficient. (like you are missing the ‘something’ you need to do life well that everyone else must have)?

As you continue to be conscious of your breath, know you are not alone and you are not fundamentally flawed. It is not your fault and it’s ‘not all in your head’. It is a series of complex chemical reactions occurring in your body.

‘Survival mode’ is a protective mechanism that was awesome at keeping you safe when you were little and in need of protection.

As a protective mechanism it remains essential to your well-being anytime you face an actual life and death emergency.

The rest of the time, it is a mechanism that just needs to learn when the threat is ‘perceived’ not real, past not present and when the threat is over, as you unlock, process and release it.

We have seen the impact of negative repetition. Now to join the dots between the need to move on from ‘perceived’ threats / trauma stuck in our system and the value of positive repetition.

It takes repetitive intentional action to develop and grow consistently. In some areas of life that may be easy or at least possible, in other areas that may be hard or seemingly impossible. Many of us have ‘deep blocks’ (past unprocessed traumas) that set us up to ‘fail’.

Our unprocessed threats / trauma keep our ‘survival mechanism’ hyper-vigilant, ever ready to trigger ‘chemical’ reactions that grow our ‘thin’ stories and tangled negative neuron bundles.

It is those tangled negative neuron bundles and ‘thin’ stories, in turn, that trigger our emotional outbursts, self sabotage, procrastination and shame etc. When these negative affects are triggered, our ‘good intentions’ are often derailed.

The good news is that we can fully process stuck, hidden threats / trauma without re-traumatization. We can then go on to create healthy positive, neural pathways and bundles, primed to attract further positivity.

N.B. This is especially true when we are open and regularly engaging creatively (more about that another time).

Life is a journey. Each of us are at a particular point on our timeline, learning and growing at our own pace. In some areas we may be thriving, in others, not so much. Or everything could be a struggle, right now. Some days it takes true grit, determination and guts just to get up and show up.

Wherever you are, be kind to yourself. You are precious, unique and one of a kind.

When you are ready and able, take some time to check in holistically, mind, body, soul, spirit and choose one area of your life to focus in on and create a daily or weekly intentional practice for.

If resistance or shame come to the fore, get curious and do the ‘work’ needed to move on and build the capacity, resilience or growth you want to create.

Intentional and repetitive action builds mind, body, soul, spirit ‘muscle’ and transforms us at a cellular, chemical level.

It is worthy of our consideration, time and effort.

If you need support in any part of the journey please feel free to DM me or book a 1:1 session on my booking page.

Until next time
Liz